Well, the party is over and all survived - except our hammock, which was destroyed by a pod of rampaging tweens. But that was our only casualty. It couldn't have gone better. It was a really good night. Nice weather, nice people, nice food. Nice cleaned-up house. Nice locked-up dogs (you scavenge off people's plates, you lose!). We had enough food that people ate most of it but we didn't get to the point of almost running out. We had way too much fruit salad and should buy less in future. We need to have more forks on hand next time, or at least have both of us know where extras are stashed. Athletic equipment for kids = good. Rented wineglasses for adults = good. Wild hammock play for big kids; popsicles for toddlers = bad.
And I really want one of these; our neighbors loaned us theirs and it was heavenly once it got dark. DH put our kids to bed, everyone else with kids went home, and we and our diehard neighbors hung out on the patio enjoying the fire and the beer and the September chill. What an invention - it's like a campfire, a fireplace, and a woodstove all rolled into one. The former Girl Scout in me welcomes any chance to sit by a cozy outdoor fire and look up at the stars. But I'll skip toasting marshmallows. I prefer my s'mores free of marshmallows, kind of like the way DH likes his strawberry shortcake without the strawberries. Beside the point, but still tasty!
Even amid all the laughter and the jokes and stories going around, part of me was reverently standing back and thinking, Ah, yes, this is the best. This is what I've always wanted. Because it was just so easy for me to be part of this group.
I am still socially insecure, don't get me wrong. I suck at small talk and kibitzing. The seemingly endless round of back-to-school events of late has reinforced this as I awkwardly try to make small talk with the parents of my kids' classmates, and worry that everyone knows everyone else better than I do. Even at work events, I still sometimes get that uncomfortable sense of not quite fitting in. It's draining to be social in these situations.
But with most of our friends these days, it's so comfortable that I experience sheer relief and joy in social situations, and actually long for more. For once in my life, I don't feel awkward or left out. I don't feel like I'm competing for position in a hierarchy, or being grudgingly tolerated. I feel unequivocally accepted, appreciated, and sought out. And that is such a gift. I can't even explain what a gift that is for me, just to feel like an insider.
And I really want one of these; our neighbors loaned us theirs and it was heavenly once it got dark. DH put our kids to bed, everyone else with kids went home, and we and our diehard neighbors hung out on the patio enjoying the fire and the beer and the September chill. What an invention - it's like a campfire, a fireplace, and a woodstove all rolled into one. The former Girl Scout in me welcomes any chance to sit by a cozy outdoor fire and look up at the stars. But I'll skip toasting marshmallows. I prefer my s'mores free of marshmallows, kind of like the way DH likes his strawberry shortcake without the strawberries. Beside the point, but still tasty!
Even amid all the laughter and the jokes and stories going around, part of me was reverently standing back and thinking, Ah, yes, this is the best. This is what I've always wanted. Because it was just so easy for me to be part of this group.
I am still socially insecure, don't get me wrong. I suck at small talk and kibitzing. The seemingly endless round of back-to-school events of late has reinforced this as I awkwardly try to make small talk with the parents of my kids' classmates, and worry that everyone knows everyone else better than I do. Even at work events, I still sometimes get that uncomfortable sense of not quite fitting in. It's draining to be social in these situations.
But with most of our friends these days, it's so comfortable that I experience sheer relief and joy in social situations, and actually long for more. For once in my life, I don't feel awkward or left out. I don't feel like I'm competing for position in a hierarchy, or being grudgingly tolerated. I feel unequivocally accepted, appreciated, and sought out. And that is such a gift. I can't even explain what a gift that is for me, just to feel like an insider.
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