We can watch the snow fall forever and ever

Well, eight days until Christmas, and here's where we are:

Holiday shopping: Almost done--just have to pick up a couple of gifts for two people we got assigned in the annual pollyanna exchange with my in-laws and their close family friends, which I need to deal with by 5pm on Friday! I also decided to skip office cards and little trinkets...I'm just not in the mood this year.

Decorating: Outside is minimalist and was done a few weeks ago. I made a wreath at a workshop and hung it on one back door the week after Thanksgiving. Chip got another at the supermarket the following week and put it on the front door. We also put up and spotlighted our giant fake wreath with lights on the barn--this invaluable item was located at an antiques mall by the former owner of our house, who called us to tell us about it, then kindly picked it up for us 2 years ago. We cut off the shiny baubles and left the lights on it, and then attached a big bow. Large wreaths seem to be quite the thing on Chester County barns, so we were psyched. We skipped garlanding the front porch and putting lights in the bushes or candles in the windows this year because we're lazy and it's too cold outside. Also, the kids would probably destroy the candles, even if we found some we liked.

Inside is even more minimalist; we've done squat other than line the mantel with our haul of Christmas cards. Since we're going away for Christmas and will not be entertaining before then, we skipped doing a tree and indoor decorations this year. It's probably the last year we can get away with this, although Miss Melrose would probably really like one. Also, Mr. Magoo would undoubtedly destroy any decorating we do in about six seconds flat, so maybe it's a good thing?

Getting into the spirit: I'm struggling with this, just as I have the last few years. I don't seem to be able to recapture the magic and mystery I once felt surrounding the holiday, the beauty of cool blue snow falling or candles shining in the darkness, the excitement of buying and hiding gifts, the quiet contemplation of Christ's birth, the good memories that spill forth when I hear my favorite songs or smell evergreens and spiced cider. It hasn't been the same since my beloved grandmother died unexpectedly on December 22, 2002, but even before that, I was feeling spiritually disconnected to some degree during December. I don't know if this is because I'm an adult and now responsible for making the magic happen, rather than feeling it? Or is my life just too busy and so filled with the clamor of children and work and other obligations that I can't slow down, be still, and let it find me? Or is it holiday overload brought on by radio stations switching to Christmas format before Thanksgiving, stores decorating before Halloween, endless pressure to consume and compete?

I'm hoping that I can recapture it through my children and their excitement and wonder, but in general, I'm finding the holidays rather exhausting and have times when I'm downright Scrooge-like. The shopping, and the planning, and the huge outlay of money and time and energy on buying presents for people (which is exacerbated by having four family members with December birthdays), coupled with my general lack of free time to shop and browse for gifts by myself, makes it all feel kind of rushed and cold and robotic. We need to start establishing some of our own family traditions and rituals, but we haven't really done it yet, with the kids still so small. We did go to this great Christmas Stroll at Historic Yellow Springs, which was incredibly cool and I think will make the cut for future traditions to kick off the season. Hopefully as the kids grow and get more out of things like seeing "The Nutcracker" or visiting holiday displays and helping with cookie-baking and house-decorating, it will become more fun. Right now, it's all I can do to get the Christmas cards out and keep the wrapped presents locked up, away from little hands that are into EVERYTHING!

Nowadays I don't feel much of anything Christmasy in my heart until it's Christmas Eve, all the preparations are complete, and I've somehow made it to an evening Lessons and Carols service, and they dim the lights to sing "Silent Night" kneeling, and then the tears rise in my throat so that I can't even sing. And I'm not even sure why I'm crying, but something very powerful takes over. Is that the spirit of Christmas?

On a lighter note, from my sister Anne, one of those chain questionnaires:

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, Here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you......Tis the Season to be NICE!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Depends on the gift, how many such bags I recycled from last year, and whether I remembered to ask for a gift box at the store.

2. Real tree or artificial? Real in the living room; small fake one for tabletop displays (if I remember it)

3. When do you put up the tree? About 2 weeks before Christmas.

4. When do you take the tree down? Early January.

5. Do you like eggnog? Just a small amount--it's a little too weird for me to drink a lot. Preferably sprinkled with nutmeg and spiked with something strong.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? There were many! My Muppets drum set, a cardboard store with pretend food, a dollhouse my dad and I worked on building together, my first boom box with a Hall and Oates tape, a black poodle puppy!

7. Do you have a nativity scene? No...can't find any cool, non-tacky ones.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Whomever I get stuck with in my in-laws' pollyanna exchange
9. Easiest person to buy for? My daughter

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail...otherwise, why bother?

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Fuzzy pink pig socks, clip-on earrings, and a hideous peachy-pink supposedly antique silk kimono that is sized for petite Asian women (not large Anglo-Saxons who don't wear Asian clothing for dressup)--all from the same person!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story. "Merry Christmas, kid...Ho, ho, HO!"

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever I see something I think someone might like; otherwise, usually in November.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Have I ever!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Chocolate oranges.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Either way is fine, but usually colored.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Religious: It Came Upon the Midnight Clear, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, O Little Town of Bethlehem (most of these always make me cry); Secular: The entire Nutcracker Suite, We Wish You a Merry Christmas, Band-Aid - Do They Know it's Christmas?, John and Yoko - Happy Christmas (War is Over), Bruce Springsteen - Merry Christmas Baby, Elton John - Step into Christmas, Sarah McLachlan and the Barenaked Ladies - We Three Kings/God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Brenda Lee - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas is You, Bing Crosby - White Christmas, Hall and Oates - Jingle Bell Rock (I also like Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song and don't get to hear it nearly enough).

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We travel and stay home in alternate years. Eventually I think we'll stay home most years to keep things more consistent--or because Santa's gifts are too big to transport!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes, and I even have a dog whose puppy name was Cupid because he was born on Christmas.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star, although for a few years we had an angel Chip bought at CVS.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Crowds, pressure to make everyone happy and get a lot done, hemorrhaging money on gifts, lack of time and energy to contemplate and feel what the holiday really means.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? No themes in my house, but I always like looking at trees with white lights and wintery decorations elsewhere.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey or roast beef with mashed potatoes and Yorkshire puddings.

25. Do you have Jesus in your heart this Christmas? I'm trying to.

26. What do you want for Christmas this year? Continued good health and happiness for my loved ones; peace in the world; some positive changes in my life in terms of career and getting into shape; good mental health; more space for creativity, writing, and God in my life next year.

27. Who is most likely to respond to this? Mom?

28. Who is least likely to respond to this? Anne!