The cutest little donkey, you'll never see him kick!

My random commentary on various random things:

The Amazing Race premiere: Loved it, even though Phil seriously OD'd on the hair gel in the opening scene. Especially when the whiny effeminate unbelievannoying Ari snipes to his immobile donkey, "If you make me lose, I'm going to cut you up and eat you!" The donkey's like, "So?" and refuses to budge. If you were the donkey and these two idiots were whining and "talking trash" and smacking you to move, would you carry 15 peat logs for them? Didn't think so. Then Ari and his hag teammate come in last and lose big. Ha ha! Go donkey!! Also, I discovered that the bizarre snorting sounds made by my dog when he gets something up his nose are not too far off from a hee-hawing Irish donkey.

Finally, my next top choice for elimination is the Goth couple. Not only are their names (Kynt and Vyxsin) way too affected, but they look like disturbingly androgynous byproducts of a clown and mime liaison in a back alley somewhere. We all know I'm not a fan of clowns or mimes. These two contestants just seem like prepackaged and overcoordinated stage caricatures somehow. Go back to playing D&D online and following Marilyn Manson and sci-fi conventions while you work in dead-end jobs to pay the bills under your real names, which are probably Jason and Jennifer. Speaking of jobs, I can't believe either of these people would get hired to work in a typical Louisville restaurant in their Goth getup, unless the Texas Roadhouse is a Goth theme restaurant.

King Tut unveiled: Fascinating. It's just incredible that a mummified corpse can survive so many centuries in such an unforgiving climate, despite having been rudely exposed and manhandled far too much by overconfident archaeology cowboys. But this unveiling only gives further support to my desire to be cremated upon my death, so nobody can ever dig me up and investigate how I really died or gape at my remains. I also don't understand why this revealing didn't happen BEFORE the big King Tut exhibit started traveling the world.

The Jessica Seinfeld plagiarism thing: The one question I'm not seeing addressed in all of the recent flap over this book is whether a woman who is extremely wealthy and married to a famous comedian and very much involved in the party-pictured social and philanthropic scene would realistically be regularly cooking her kids dinner all by herself. How many rich New York socialites or Hollywood big names cook for their families in between the benefits and facials and shopping sprees and Yogilates sessions? How many of them delegate such menial tasks to their nannies or personal chefs or housekeepers? I want to believe that Jessica is that rare exception, a person on the social fast track who persists in trying to give her kids a more "normal" home life, even if that home life is in a palatial house in the Hamptons or a zillion-dollar Manhattan penthouse. But maybe what we don't know is that she told her nanny that "my kids won't eat [name the vegetable], and YOU need to figure out a creative way to get it down their little gullets!"

My other beef is more philosophical. As a picky eater, and mother of same, I think deceiving kids about what's in their food will only make things worse, if and when they catch you. It's one thing if you simply dislike something, but if you have a major aversion to anything, deceptively adding that ingredient is cruel. For someone who is strongly averse to, say, eggs in all recognizable/tasteable permutations, discovering chopped-up egg embedded in a food where one normally wouldn't expect it will only cause dislike/distrust of even more foods, not to mention shattering trust in the person who made it. And in an era of food allergies, it's pretty important to be able to know exactly what is in your food, rather than encountering unexpected ingredients. In any case, I don't think I'll be buying the book.

Bishop Charles Bennison of the Diocese of Pennsylvania gets inhibited: Truly a sad moment for all Episcopalians, and proves that the Catholics don't have a monopoly on clergy sex abuse--they just get 98% of the media coverage. The bishop was already in deep trouble over blowing millions of diocesan funds on a camp in Maryland (that I doubt your average parishioner would ever set foot on because most churches that have adult retreats seem to use Catholic abbeys or monasteries these days, not rustic seasonal camps with bug juice and campfires). When news about this scandal with his brother first broke last year, people in the diocese had already been calling for his resignation over the alleged misspending for months. The reception was civil but clearly not warm when the Bishop visited our church a few weeks later as part of his rounds--his presence during the service almost seemed like an afterthought. My prayers and my props to the accuser and her family, who are bravely seeing this through to the bitter end, and have waited far too long for justice and healing.

The Eagles lose again: Oh, boo-frickety-hoo. Cry me a river. Along with love of cheesesteaks and familiarity with Rocky, Eaglesmania is one aspect of Philadelphia culture that continues to elude me completely. But don't tell that to the yahoo in the Eagles-flag-bedecked pickup tailgating me right now....